Losing Weight, Gaining Life

When you lose weight, you gain life. I’ve struggled with being chunky, bloated, pleasantly plump, full figured (pretty much, FAT) for a solid ten years this past month. Not a pleasant feeling. I can still remember the panicked, tear filled phone call to my mother about the thirty plus pounds I put on between January and March. I had stopped succumbing to my eating disorder and gotten huge. That summer I weighted an astonishing 180 pounds and was a size 14 … the summer before, at my high school graduation I had been a stacked size 6 that got stares, whistles and grabs everywhere I went. It was humiliating. So I stayed inside, watched movies and snacked. I had to buy a whole new wardrobe of loose clothes. When I got engaged 3 years later, a family member actually asked if I had found a blind man, because he couldn’t believe someone was willing to marry a whale. To my husband’s credit, he has supported every weight loss effort and been silent over every failure over the last 7 years. And these past two months, I could not have done what I have done without him.

But why is it working now when it hasn’t worked in the past? Once upon a time I was a fitness and nutrition counselor. I knew all the right answers. But they weren’t right for me. I even had doctors tell me that because of my cycles of anorexia and bulimia, I would never have a “normal” metabolism and I would need surgery and/or medication to get me thin again. I refused. I had made myself this way, and I would un-make myself. The difference is my attitude. I’m really NOT doing anything differently. I picked an eating plan (thank you Team Beachbody for one I actually like and enjoy and can share with my family!!!), I picked an exercise routine, and I made my goals… just like every other time I’ve tried to lose weight. This time, though, I’m being honest, I believe in myself, I’m not letting failures become excuses for quitting for a “few” days, and I am focusing on the end goal instead of just today.

Many years ago I read an interview with a woman who had started out looking frumpy and morbidly obese and ended up being rockstar gorgeous, all in less than twelve months. She said that she had spent many years doing exactly what she had done that last year, except for one thing. That one thing was to put up a picture of herself from when she was happy with her weight and appearance and hang her jeans from that picture on her wall. Every time she felt like she was “sacrificing” ice cream or something, she’d look at those jeans and that picture and realize that what she was giving up wasn’t worth nearly as much as what she was gaining. In an interview with Ellen the other day, Biggest Loser Aly said something very similar: NEVER GIVE UP YOUR JEANS!

WOW. So true. I gave up loaded baked potatoes, but I’ve gained the half hour each day I have the energy to dance with my two precious children instead of just watching them. I gave up ice cream, but I’m fitting into clothes I bought 5 years ago that still had tags on them a month ago. I gave up cheez doodles, but I am enjoying dressing up and looking pretty for my husband. I gave up boredom eating, but I’ve gained a cofidence and commitment that I haven’t had since I was an idealistic youth. Go ahead, I dare you! Tell me how much you’re giving up. I’m going to laugh at you! Because what you are gaining is so much more valuable, you can hardly even call it a sacrifice. It’s all about perspective!