MYSTERIES, IMAGINATIONS, & THE TRUTH

There are many great mysteries in life.  Why, when I put 6 pair of socks in the washer, do I only get 4 1/2 out of the drier less than 2 hours later?  Why are dimes smaller than pennies, when the rest of the coins go larger to smaller based on value?  Why is it that when you ask your mother a question, she can answer you “because”, but if you say it back it’s not an answer?  And why…

GOING GREEN

The newest fad seems to be “now.” You know what I mean: microwavable meals in minutes, things to simplify your life, instant results with this or that gadget, pills that work overnight… The craziest one yet was an e-mail I got telling me I could lose 17 pounds in a week! Doing the math, that means I could take off all 100 pounds in 6 weeks………

LOSING WEIGHT, GAINING LIFE

When you lose weight, you gain life. I’ve struggled with being chunky, bloated, pleasantly plump, full figured (pretty much, FAT) for a solid ten years this past month. Not a pleasant feeling. I can still remember the panicked, tear filled phone call to my mother…..

MIRROR, MIRROR ON THE WALL

Seriously, I think my mirror was broken. Really. When I looked in it, I didn’t realize how big my back end was (should I have been beeping or flashing lights all this time when I went in reverse??). It also didn’t show me quite how “curvy” I was (I have more curves than any super-model … my “top” and “bottom” and the two rolls in between!). But it also never showed me….

PICKING UP THE PIECES

Who knew that what I put in my mouth affected so much? Obviously I realized when I looked in the mirror that what, how and when I was eating was not working for me. I considered a vocational change to sumo wrestler, but wearing a thong that shows my cellulite turned me off. I had also thought about auditioning to be one of the hippos in Fantasia should Disney decide to put it on stage. However, ballet and I never did get along well. So, recognizing my severely limited options….